?

Log in

User Profile
Friends
Calendar
You'll Get Used to Second Best...

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

[ << Previous 25 ]

 

 
  2009.04.30  19.38
The Pomona Chronicles

So here it is the start of a new chapter in life and the return to an avenue of expression that helped me grow. Since that growth I've felt stagnant with nothing new to offer the world. Perhaps I stopped being so blunt about my ambitions in life and about my opinions of the world. I seem to have an opinion on everything but instead of expressing myself I let them fester inside to the point where I feel I'm resentful about everything. I'm not going to try and play catch up about the time in between my last update, it’s been a while and there's so much to say about "the missing years”  to sum it up, they were fucked up. So what now... I’m tired of hearing rock is dead, hip hop is dead, metal is dead, punk’s been dead, soul is dead, great movies being made are dead, the sitcom is dead, the market is dead, general motors is dead, the art of comedy is dead, the great novel is dead, the newspaper industry is dead, romance is dead, chivalry is dead, honesty is dead, the blues are dead, radio is dead, the music industry is dead, the good ol’ days are dead…So where’s the fucking life, I feel like there’s a life I have to live and society has subliminally implanted the idea in my head that nothing is worth a damn, there’s something out there that is worth it and I’m going to find it, going to find it in the things and people in front of my face and anyone who wants to share that with me…



 
 


 
  2007.05.09  09.00
Ain't No Reason

Ain't No Reason
By Brett Dennen

There ain't no reason things are this way
It's how they always been and they intend to stay
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday
Preachers on the podium speaking of saints
Prophets on the sidewalk begging for change
Old ladies laughing from the fire escape, cursing my name
I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same
A window and a pigeon with a broken wing
You can spend your whole life working for something,
Just to have it taken away
People walk around pushing back their debts
Wearing pay checks like necklaces and bracelets
Talking bout nothing, not thinking bout death
Every little heartbeat, every little breath
People walk a tight rope
On a razor's edge
Carrying their hurt and hatred and weapons
It could be a bomb or a bullet or a pen
Or a thought or a word or a sentence

There ain't no reason
Things are this way
It's how they've always been
and they intend to stay
I don't know why I say
The things that I say
But I say them anyway
But love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes

Prison walls still standing tall
Some things never change at all
Keep on building prisons, gonna fill them all
Keep on building bombs, gonna drop them all
Working your fingers bare to the bone
Breaking your back make you sell your soul
Like a lung it's filled with coal, suffocating slow
The wind blows wild and I may move
The politicians lie and I am not fooled
You don't need no reason or a three piece suit
To argue the truth
The air on my skin and the world under my toes
Slavery is stitched into the fabric of my clothes
Chaos and commotion wherever I go
Love I try to follow

Love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes

There ain't no reason things are this way
It's how they always been and they intend to stay
I can't explain why we live this way,
We do it everyday


 
 


 
  2007.04.02  15.06
Ever Listen to like 20 times in a row?

Ray Lamontagne
Gone Away From Me



For a while I sat there staring at her photograph
     
For a while I cried and tried not to make a scene
           
There was a time when we were young
         
I used to make her laugh
           
But life is long, my love has gone away from me 

     
Gone away from me
     
Gone away from me
       
Life is long, my love has gone away from me
    
Gone away from me 
    
Gone away from me
                                             
Life is long, my love has gone away from me 

                                   
Lately I can't seem to find myself no sleep at all
                               
Lately I just lie awake and hear and dream 
                  
Of the time when she was mine
           
Felt like I had it all
                                        
But life is long, my love has gone away from me 

     
Gone away from me
     
Gone away from me
                                
Life is long, my love has gone away from me
     
Gone away from me
     
Gone away from me
                            
Life is long, my love has gone away from me


Yesterday is gone

Yesterday is dead
                               
Get it through your head and walk away
    
Yesterday is gone
                                    
Ain't no use hanging on to...

a memory It only causes you pain 

For a while I sat there staring at her photograph
                              
For a while I cried and tried not to make a scene
                        
There was a time when we were young
         
I used to make her laugh
      
But life is long, my love has run away from me 

Gone away from me
     
Gone away from me
       
Life is long, my love has gone away from me
     
Gone away from me 
     
Gone away from me
                                          
Life is long, my love has gone away from


 
 


 
  2007.03.30  10.59
Great Song From The Country Ghetto Album

Circles
By JJ Grey & Mofro

Some say that I wronged you but I don't know how ⁄ If I could make it right you know I would, you know I would ⁄ ⁄ So please forgive me for what some other man did too you ⁄ Before I came along ⁄ Cuz I don't want to go on fighting and fussing over something ⁄ I can't change at all ⁄ ⁄ There's no way I can change the past or your pain ⁄ I don't want to fight walking in circles ⁄ I'm not the one who hurt you so deep down ⁄ Let's start a new now walking in circles ⁄ ⁄ If time heals all wounds then change comes slow - so slow ⁄ But if I see a smile on your face the sun may yet Lord shine on us ⁄ ⁄ There's no way I can change the past or your pain ⁄ I don't want to fight walking in circles ⁄ I'm not the one who hurt you so deep down ⁄ Let's start a new now walking in circles ⁄ ⁄ I'm not the one who hurt you so deep down ⁄ Let's start a new now walking in circles ⁄ There's no way I can change the past or your pain ⁄ I don't want to fight walking in circles ⁄ I'm not the one who hurt you so deep down ⁄ Let's start a new now walking in circles


 
 


 
  2007.03.24  07.22
I just really wanted to remember this message I wrote

Well somewhere between negotiation and signing the lease for our spot our main investor decided to pull out. Not because the idea wasn't great or the plan was faulty but because they could not come up with the cash as they thought, so.... so yeah it's been disheartening bordering on depressing lately but not really getting to depressing cause well I’m Manny and throughout the course of my life I've conditioned myself to be more headstrong than that or at least I like to think of myself as that I’m pretty sure you'd know all about that so forgive me for seeming distant lately. Man, yo I saw/see this business venture as an opportunity to grow; mentally, socially, spiritually, in relationships, as a man in general just by the responsibility running a business entails I saw the oncoming experience and trial & error that would accompany it as a learning experience and something to build on, I don't think I ever in my life had anything stable or permanent to build on not because I think I'm unfortunate or anything like that, I value my blessings in life as cheesy as that sounds and yes I do see the love and trust of my mother, brothers as something to build on but it's natural to grow out of that incubator and do and create for self, so what I was referring to was opportunities, I make the most out of every opportunity I have, and yes like any logical person (I could be reaching with this opinion here, lol) I do see it as my responsibility to create my own opportunity however and wherever I can if I want success in life, so yeah my legal situation has always limited my opportunities in life substantially, whether it has been in preventing me from joining certain school clubs as a kid that traveled to government offices all over the country when I wanted to be a politician as a little dude, to when I knew I couldn't apply for a university cause my parents couldn't afford it and I knew I couldn't ever qualify for financial aid, to when I tried getting a job as a stubborn unwilling to accept reality teenager, to now as a man where I can't even drive (legally) or go out with the fellas and have a good time at certain spots, or missing my best friends wedding, to wondering what I’m actually going to do in the coming months after I graduate since I can’t really transfer to a University, yeah I’m not really cool with telling a sob story since I’ll never have it as bad as other people in this world so I’ll stop now since I’m sure you got the point, If I even had one to begin with.
*brain fart*
Oh right so things continually feel like they're meant to fall apart and have no stability cause of all that shit that’s been going on in my life lately, which could be the way things are meant to be I don't know, I'm young I'll probably learn otherwise when I’m older or something. So yeah in spite of the fragility(in my opinion) of things I know that I personally have been working on becoming someone who is strong in every aspect of life, that’s just for my piece of mind, for some reason I’ve never felt right not living like I’m working for a purpose and lately I’ve been wondering why every time I feel like I’m on the verge of discovering what it is “things fall apart” (amazing album by The Roots, btw) Anyways G I’m at a point in life where I feel like what I do from now on is going to determine my course in life, and don’t ask why I always have to compartmentalize what I say into statements that seem way too serious, I just do that, Its just who I am and I hope you just get that about me without losing sight that I’d prefer to smile and kid around more than anything most of the time and that’s probably a side that you rarely see of me, life’s boring if you take it too serious, kaamean but life in it’s self is real so henceforth requires seriousness, call me Socrates how’s that for philosophy. Anyways let me wrap this up since I seem to be going on and on, and on, lol alright so you told me once I don’t really let you that much in on my life well here’s what’s been up in la vida de Manny, We’ve sold our house about 3 times already but the people we’ve sold it to didn’t meet management’s standards for residency in this shit hole cause of their credit, legal status, or whatever reason so just when I think life was heading to a point of moving on it stays stagnant, so my Mom and Franky who’s plan is to work for my sake so I don’t drop out, doing what I don’t know, how or where? when he currently has warrants and a criminal record want to get an apartment and build from there, and straight up my mom doesn’t really trust Angel’s plan so she really doesn’t want to invest her time or money in it all because the dude’s never really came through on any of the plans he’s ever made, which to his detriment have been like over 100 different ones over the course of the past 5 yrs and that has been because his credit has been trashed, the hospital sold his debt to credit companies and they divided it into like 1,000 different accounts for like the amount of 1,000 dollars a piece so when it comes down to the dude getting a decent job or place to live he gets discriminated on cause his financial records indicate something that mirrors criminal activity or just irresponsibility still it amazes me how the dude maintains in spite of that. So Angel is pretty broken up cause moms don’t trust him, and my Mom and Franky never let me in the plans they’ve been working on which, so I feel alienated more so than I usually feel in the realm of family which hurts me and distracts from doing my everyday shit in regards to concentrating with school, so shit’s at a breaking point, I don’t know where things are headed, everyone seems to be walking on shells here and it feels like something’s gonna give way and it’s not going to be pretty, which I know I’m capable of handling just threw my faith, but mentally the peeps around me aren’t really as stable as me, so that’s the sparknotes version of what’s been up, what’s been up in your neighborhood, Mr. Rogers been around?, seen any beautiful days?

 
 


 
  2007.03.16  12.53
Aura No. 3 By Taalam Acey

Aura No. 3
copyright 2005. Taalam Acey
 
You should know
that they couldn't create a mirror
that could begin to
show you half the things
that I see in you.
Cause,
more important than your face
and your shape,
I'm in love with the woman
you're becoming.
And, I can foresee a day
where your hair
is mostly gray.
And, your smile shows
intense living
and no one can
look in your eyes
without seeing decades
of wisdom.
And, I'm not concerned
with the woman of the year
cause I'm in love with
the bride of a lifetime.
I don't want to watch your figure.
I'd rather watch you use
your left and right mind.
I'm love with your laugh
more than the tightness of your abs.
Though a mirror can
show you your present
I'm obsessed with our future
and our past.
And, my love lasts
cause it has the benefit
of knowing
that to truly be intimate
I don't focus
on the qualities you have now.
Instead,
I focus on the qualities you have
that are infinite.
That should be the sentiment
that takes us all around the world
to ocean liners and beaches
and hotels in far reaches
where we'll use stolen glances
to communicate our secrets.
I want our love to be the one
that teaches
couples how to share their lives
and men not to compare their wives
with what seems greener
on the other side.
I'll confide in you nightly
then provide for you daily.
Then, in between,
do the best I can
to treat my fellow man fairly.
But, it's most important
that I be that eternal flame
that brings you heat
whenever you're cold.
You'll always see yourself
clearer in me
than any mirror
cause I'm a purer
reflection
of your soul.


 
 


 
  2007.03.08  23.47
flirted with insanity/Dad is fucking crazy

Think I flirted with insanity

Bared feet in the middle of the street

Reality confirmed, mind ain’t playing tricks on me

Glass Shattered, blood splattered

A Geto boys tale punching on the concrete

Proof that he never really did care

My Father cheated on my mother

This is the manifestation of betrayal, hate, despair

With the pounding of three keys

I’m about to be arrested, warrant outstanding

“Put your God Damn hands where I can see”

Pop’s loved them little girls on their knees

Assed out handcuffed on the floor

Think I flirted w/ insanity, I heard she was a whore

Insanity fucks many men, the bitch is known

And she has many friends, a whole gang of them

Gun toting idiots who claim a street

Confrontational type who’d never see you in a ring

But who would bust to make it deadly

Dad lusted for the hooker daily

Until this day he denies he ever sinned

Still he offers no explanation for the predicament

Feels no need or reason to apologize

Acts as if everyone else have lost their mind

But he can’t even look me in the eye

Fuck you pops you’ve been fucking crazy

Ever since I was nine & possibly my whole life

Disappoint my mom again best believe I'm doing time

-Manifest



 
 


 
  2007.03.08  08.46
Saul Willams- Dead Emcee Scrolls Ch:30-31

God and pussy.  Objects of desire and ill repute

Some’d rather seek up high, than dig and grind

That inner truth.  The angel of my eye a bit too fly

To substitute with any other form than the messiah’s.

 

Black Maria, mother ship, grandmother moon

And sea.  The wave and form of beauty born

Of Eden’s apple tree.   And every single atom

Stands erect and prays to be the follower she

Offers sweet communion.

 

Holy union.  Let me see you wind it, just like

That.  Move your hips from side to side.  Come

 Forward, push it back.  Let me know firsthand

The land of glory that I lack.  I surrender all to

You if you’ll surrender  back.

 

Holy crap.  Where’d you learn to squeeze it

Tight and then move it slow enough for me

To question everything? You slowly start to

Tremble.  Heaven’s walls begin to sing.

 

Tsunami ever after.  Cosmic slop on everything.

 

Shower me with blessings.  No second-guessing.

‘Cause God, herself, is sitting on the edge of my

Bed, slowly undressing.  A night symbolic as the

Resurrection.   I’m about to slide up in the kingdom

Of God with no protection.

 

And I can guarantee a second coming.  ‘Cause I

Already hear the drummer boy barumpumpum

Pumming.  A host of angels look at me through

Your eyes.  My first communion with my hands

 On your thighs.  You’re catching the spirit, the Holy

Ghost and the fire.  Yo, this is wild.

 

I’m every Jay-z album played in reverse. I’m

Risen from blunt ash and stashed in a purse.

I’m smuggled over borders, contraband. ‘though

I rock. I paper. I scissor. Nah NGH, No Glock



 
 


 
  2007.03.06  15.08
Land Locked Blues

Bright Eyes-Land Locked Blues








If you walk away, I'll walk away First tell me which road you will take I don't want to risk our paths crossing someday So you walk that way, I'll walk this way And the future hangs over our heads And it moves with each current event Until it falls all around like a cold, steady rain Just stay in when it's looking this way And the moon's laying low in the sky Forcing everything metal to shine And the sidewalk holds diamonds like a jewelry store case They argue, walk this way, no, walk this way And Laura's asleep in my bed As I'm leaving, she wakes up and says I dreamed you were carried away on the crest of a wave Baby, don't go away, come here And there's kids playing guns in the street And one's pointing his tree branch at me And so I put my hands up, I say enough is enough If you walk away, I'll walk away And he shot me dead I found a liquid cure from my landlocked blues It would pass the way like a slow parade It's leaving, but I don't know how soon And the world's got me dizzy again You think after twenty-two years I'd be used to the spin And it only feels worse when I stay in one place So I'm always pacing around or walking away I keep drinking the ink from my pen And I'm balancing history books up on my head But it all boils down to one quotable phrase If you love something, give it away A good woman will pick you apart A box full of suggestions for your possible heart But you may be offended, and you may be afraid But don't walk away, don't walk away We made love on the living room floor With the noise in the background from a televised war And in that deafening pleasure, I thought I heard someone say If we walk away, they walk away But greed is a bottomless pit And our freedom's a joke, we're just taking a piss And the whole world must watch the sad, comic display If you're still free, start running away Cause we're coming for you I've grown tired of holding this pose I feel more like a stranger each time I come home So I'm making a deal with the devils of fame Saying, let me walk away, please You'll be free child once you have died From the shackles of language and measurable time And then we can trade places, play musical graves 'Til then walk away, walk away, walk away So I'm up at dawn Putting on my shoes I just want to make a clean escape I'm leaving, but I dont know where to I know I'm leaving, but I dont know where to


 
 


 
  2007.02.23  09.59
the nearer your destination

Paul Simon Slip Slidin' Away

CHORUS:
Slip slidin’ away
Slip slidin’ away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you’re slip slidin’ away

I know a man
He came from my home town
He wore his passion for his woman
Like a thorny crown
He said Delores
I live in fear
My love for you’s so overpowering
I’m afraid that I will disappear

CHORUS:
Slip slidin’ away
Slip slidin’ away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you’re slip slidin’ away

know a woman
Became a wife
These are the very words she uses
To describe her life
She said a good day
Ain’t got no rain
She said a bad day’s when I lie in bed
And think of things that might have been

CHORUS:
Slip slidin’ away
Slip slidin’ away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you’re slip slidin’ away

And I know a father
Who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons
For the things he’d done
He came a long way
Just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and headed home again

CHORUS:
Slip slidin’ away
Slip slidin’ away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you’re slip slidin’ away

God only knows
God makes his plan
The information’s unavailable
To the mortal man
We work our jobs
Collect our pay
Believe we’re gliding down the highway
When in fact we’re slip slidin’ away

 
 


 
  2007.02.12  09.05
I was searching for some legal document

Death Cab For Cutie- Title & Registration

The glove compartment is inaccurately named,
And everybody knows it.
So I'm proposing a swift orderly change.

Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm,
And all I find are souvenirs from better times.
Before the gleam of your taillights fading east,
To find yourself a better life.

I was searching for some legal document,
As the rain beat down on the hood.
When I stumbled upon pictures I tried to forget,
And that's how this idea was drilled into my head.

Cause it's too important,
To stay the way it's been.

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade,
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all.
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide,
Lying awake at night.

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade,
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all.
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide,
Lying awake at night (up all night),
When I'm lying awake at night.

 
 


 
  2007.02.12  08.46
I sure could use a vacation from this

Fuck all these gun-toting
Hip gangster wanna-bes

Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim...

 
 


 
  2007.02.09  15.19
Johnny Cash- ONE

One

is it getting better
or do you feel the same
will it make it easier on you now
if you've got someone to blame

you said one love
one life
when its one need
in the night
one love we get to share it
it leaves you baby if you don't care for it

did i disappoint you
or leave a bad taste in your mouth
you act like you never had love
and you want me to go without

well its too late
tonight
to drag the past out
into the light
we're one but we're not the same
we get to carry each other
carry each other
one

have you come here for forgiveness
have you come to raise the dead
have you come here to play jesus
to the lepers in your head

did i ask too much
more than a lot
you gave me nothing now
its all i got
we're one but we're not the same
well we hurt each other and we're doin it again

you said love is a temple
love the higher law
love is a temple
love the higher law

you ask me to enter
but then you make me crawl
i cant be holdin on
to what you've got
when all you've got is hurt

one love
one blood
one life
you've got to do what you should
one life with each other
sister
brothers
one life but we're not the same
we get to carry each other
carry each other
one



 
 


 
  2007.02.05  10.25
One Day At A Time

Los Tigres Del Norte- Un Dia A La Vez



necesitado me encuentro señor
ayudame a ver
yo quiero saber lo que devo hacer
muestra el camino
que devo seguir
señor por mi bien
yo quiero vivir un dia a la vez
un dia a la vez dios mio
es lo que pido de ti
dame la fuerza para vivir un dia a la vez
ayer ya paso dios mio
mañana quisas no vendra
ayudame hoy yo quiero vivir un dia a la vez
tu ya viviste entre los hombres
tu sabes mi dios que hoy esta peor
es mucho el dolor  hay mucho egoismo  y mucha maldad
senor por mi bien yo quiero vivir un dia a la vez
un dia a la vez dios mio
es lo que pido de ti
dame la fuerza para vivir un dia a la vez
ayer ya paso dios mio
manana quisas no vendra
ayudame hoy yo quiero vivir un dia a la vez
ayudame hoy yo quiero vivir un dia a la vez


 
 


 
  2007.01.09  22.55
Holding God Hostage

I’m holding God hostage w/ a finger pointed to his chest asking if a heart is even present, I’m holding God hostage because if he was a CEO he’d no longer be running things, I’m holding him accountable for negligence, I’m placing him liable for Auschwitz and Darfur among other ungodly things like the crusades, I proclaim him responsible for tyrant kings, sacrilegious popes, and corrupt brutal emperors and presidents, putting the blame on him for starvation and all of human suffering, I’ll be asking him why not an answer for aids or many forms of cancer, why no response while people plead for him when they are in harms way. Why so many crowded hospitals and expensive medical bills most can’t afford to pay, I’ll question him about giving greed to our being along with other cardinal sins. I’m confronting God with a fist raised for a change shouting rhetoric and other words profane and blasphemous, but mostly with fear in my soul not knowing if he’s merciful, God where are your miracles, is Jesus really Lord? We’re going to need more than 153 fish and a couple extra loafs of bread to feed the poor. Man I’m going to beat God down with bitterness and pain, question if he’s serious or possibly insane? Torture him with misery not mine personally just the stuff he seems to oversee without caring, maybe he’s just as afraid as me the world’s gone fucking crazy, it’s time to inquire about the hypocrisy in his good book in comparison to how life is, I’m holding God hostage looking at him in the mirror because he made me in his image, with a mouth full of questions and a light dimming I’m screaming yearning for a change, the absolution of pain, God reclaiming his name and addressing those who intentionally assassinate his essence and abuse his discourse to justify the brutality of war and pestilent force, I mean should he remain blameless for the loss of innocence, the death of infants, beaten and battered women I get he sent down a son who died for our sins but is that much of a sacrifice in comparison to what some live through everyday I’m talking rape, penetration cutting deeper than a spear pierced through the ribs, Father Jerry you're free to dream of alter boys while you masturbate and eventually act on it, child molester there’s plenty of children at play go ahead and take advantage God will probably turn a blind eye to it, he’s probably busy or desensitized to it. God’s bleeding now I think his wrist have been slit after being forced to watch it and I’m denying him medical attention, I didn’t cut though I just gave him the weapon, was that sadistic? He must have been tired of the pain and wanted to escape could that be the reason why he’s not listening. Oh if you’re wondering why he doesn’t heal himself his divine powers have been stripped in replace I gave him the gift of feeling almost lifeless I figured this whole time it has been difficult to be empathetic if he’s only felt omnipotent, no need to panic people The Almighty has fully recovered and just got his thrown back, you’re free to holler out all 99 of his names again proceeding an atrocity or after it, resort to fractioning into Catholic and Protestant, Gentiles and Jews, lets all forget about love, forgiveness and compassion, let’s all act out in with no conscious, reason or rationale, let’s all find a distraction to avoid the fact that we’re dwelling in hell ignoring the sensibility that God might have put us on this earth to change what we see, I’m holding God hostage in the depths of my soul knowing that with faith in him all things are possible, time to make a difference for the lord… wait maybe tomorrow football’s on

-Manifest

 
 


 
  2007.01.06  08.15
APC Song

Lying all alone and restless unable to lose this image
Sleepless, unable to focus on anything but your surrender
Tuggin' a rythm to the vision that's in my head
Tuggin a beat to the sight of you lying

So delighted with a new understanding
Something about a little evil that makes
that unmistakable noise I was hearing
Unmistakable sound I know so well

Spent and sighing with a look in your eyes
Spent and sweatin with a look on your face like

Sweet Revelation Sweet Surrender
surrender, surrender, surrender
Tuggin' a rythm to the vision that's in my head
Tuggin a beat to the sight of you lying

So delighted with a new understanding
Something about a little evil that makes
that unmistakable noise I was hearing
Unmistakeable sound I know so well

Spent and sighing with a look in your eyes
Spent and Sweatin'
With a look on your face like

Sweet revelation, Sweet surrendering
Sweet revelation, Sweet

Thinking of you, thinking of you
Thinking...



Mood: Tuggin
 
 


 
  2006.12.16  11.23
Deceiving me again

Is that the world deceiving me again?
Could never really get much work done w/ a heavy conscious
What’s it saying this time? “Go out and get mine”
Life is traveled one step at a time, that’s a lie
You’d be out of breath if that’s the case or find yourself intimidated
Is that the world deceiving me again?
The task at hand is achievable by any man
Especially if it’s his fingers which constructed the plan
It’s in our estimate that we decide if set path is worth a go at
Determine what you want your life’s equity to be
Sum up liabilities in accordance to your assets & you’ll asses what road is best
The destination is always at a distance
But the sailing on course could be the beauty of it
So enjoy, make the best of every moment and invest in what’s important
Every grain of sand in an hour glass will be blowing in the wind if it’s broken
Is that the world deceiving me again?
Pretty easy to shootout advice on what should be
But in reality it’s not quite as easy
There are obstacles to overcome there’s a race to run
Power to be won, titles & merits attributed to your credit
It’s in your best interest to pay what’s due just don’t let time work against you
Is that the world deceiving me again?
-Manifest

 
 


 
  2006.11.25  12.47
Letter written to life

Life,
I think that you are unjust sometimes,
Most of the time to be exact
I despise the timing that you have
I live in fear of the bad news you will deliver someday
Have a way of multiplying my anxiety as the leaves change
Life you keep me drowning in expression absent
And constantly searching for a truth
One irretrievable that intentionally evades me
I’m scared, downtrodden and disheartened, beaten
By the hands of time which you manipulate
Life you’re cold,
More frigid than a Siberian winter
Disheveled & mangled w/ abrasions to your surface
In a metaphorical sense, you are hurts hurting
Beating frantic at a variable pace
The damage done to a soul bound to never mend
Darker than Satan’s presence, evil spirits
The personification of sin, secrets hidden
Materializing the stench of rotten souls
And hell fire’s smoke in the wind
Tend to become war and conflict
What we fight to maintain
You are the beauty, discovery, and forgiveness
Which believing begets
Equally as beautiful as newborns, untainted innocence
Reassuring like a fathers promise whispered silent
Merely a stop on the road to
Eternal love everlasting never fated to end

 
 


 
  2006.11.22  14.56
Thanksgiving, Word up!

Thanksgiving

Forever on Thanksgiving Day The heart will find the pathway home. --Wilbur D. Nesbit

True thanksgiving means that we need to thank God for what He has done for us, and not to tell Him what we have done for Him. --George R. Hendrick

Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone. --Gertrude Stein

Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors. --Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A life in thankfulness releases the glory of God. --Bengt Sundberg

One of life's gifts is that each of us, no matter how tired and downtrodden, finds reasons for thankfulness. --J. Robert Maskin

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one of them to say 'Thank You'? --William A. Ward

Seeds of discouragement will not grow in the thankful heart.

If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no day to be thankful for.

 
 


 
  2006.11.19  01.14
The man I can't be

Why can't I be the man that let's his mother know that he loves her?
Why can't I be the man who helps a brother out by pointing out his mistakes?
Why can't I be the man to speak up when I hear friends making disrespectful remarks about women?
Why can't I be the man who approaches a girl and lets her know I would like to get to know them?
Why can't I be the man who does something about what he sees wrong in the world instead of just complain?
Why can't I be the man who walks away from a fight when I know someone else is wrong?
Why can't I be the man who's open and doesn't put up walls?
Why can't I be the man who can just be a friend to a girl without wanting anything more?
Why can't I be the man who know's what's best for me and does everything in his power to accomplish his dreams?


Of course I have complicated answers to every single one of these questions but the answer that sums everything up is that I've tried throughout my life to do all this and failed, miserably in some instances

 
 


 
  2006.11.19  01.02
Dying inside, but outside you're looking fearless

And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
-2pac

 
 


 
  2006.11.14  13.16
65 Roses

Citizen Aim
65 Roses..

Verse 1:

What is life expectancy, what a way to phrase a question/
What kind of answer should return the truth, convey the message//
Is it, equality the same end for every person/
Is it sovereignty a giving God and living with purpose//
Is it only shall the strong survive and then will end the weak/
Or a dog eat dog world, take advantage, turn the cheek//
How bout living out your dreams and express it through a poem/
Know what you expect out of life and you can gain the gold//
Well for a family of an infant diagnosed to comatose/
It..s journey down the pathway to fight and know the ropes//
Each living soul is different like a fingerprint..s identity/
Each body..s made a little different, singing it..s own melody//
Embedded in the DNA, where the twisted strands dance/
I wish I guide the way and hold each little one..s hand//
I..ve been there before, and I know the way now/
Like a tourist with a map and pamphlet, got it laid out//

Chorus:

Life loves me, life loves me not it goes/
See the beauty in a flower when I..m pulling on the rose//
Prick a fingertip, bleed a bit, from trying to hold it tight/
I want a year for every petal, still alive at sixty-five//

Verse 2:

Can life be re-paid, can life be reimbursed/
Get the tears back you cried for every time you felt the hurt//
What about medical bills, hospital trips, doctor visits/
Time and time again hearing results that weren..t worth a listen//
But you have to, hear the news for what it is/
Could do damage to your ears, or it might mend a heart thats delicate//
A life-long relationship with medical technology/
Feel like the drugs and machines should owe me an apology//
Where to aim to blame, if only that I knew/
For the one who has the power, has more love for me than I do//
Not in measurements of self-esteem or the image in the mirror/
Not in a sense of being vein but in a sense of being clearer//
Unconditional, not limited by any means/
Break the strands and molds that try to pigeon-hole me please//
Unconventional, I..ll be damned if I don..t defy/
Disease, I want seeds in a family that can multiply//

Chorus:

Life loves me, life loves me not it goes/
See the beauty in a flower when I..m pulling on the rose//
Prick a fingertip, bleed a bit, from trying to hold it tight/
I want a year for every petal, still alive at sixty-five//
Verse 3:
Will God give me the chance to say goodbye one last time/
Gather friends and family members, single file in a line//
Apologize for neglecting, for always second guessing/
I should have nurtured more relationships are such a blessing//
Hear a word from a friend that makes you smile when it hurts/
Get better treatment from your wife than any certified nurse//
And a rock to stand on, not just in Christ but in family/
Break their backs just to help you hold steady handling//
(1,2...) I..m an angel in waiting/
Growing wings out of my spine to take flight navigating//
When it comes time, give em pounds & daps I..m outta here/
Take the one and only flight up, blast into the atmosphere//
Look next to me, I..m not flying all alone/
I..ll take the long road home where the psalms unfold//
And be the oldest man living till the day I pass away/
Telling cystic fibrosis that it lost again today//

Chorus:

Life loves me, life loves me not it goes/
See the beauty in a flower when I..m pulling on the rose//
Prick a fingertip, bleed a bit, from trying to hold it tight/
I want a year for every petal, still alive at sixty-five//

 
 


 
  2006.10.28  00.21
Staring through a window

James Morrison
Wonderful World

I've been down so low
People look at me and they know
They can tell something is wrong
Like I don't belong

Staring through a window
Standing outside, they're just too happy to care tonight
I want to be like them
But I'll mess it up again

I tripped on my way in
And got kicked outside, everybody saw...

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

Sometimes I feel so full of love
It just comes spilling out
It's uncomfortable to see
I give it away so easily
But if I had someone I would do anything
I'd never, never, ever let you feel alone
I won't I won't leave you, on your own

But who am I to dream?
Dreams are for fools, they let you down...

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I wish that I could make it better
I'd give anything for you to call me, or maybe just a little letter
Oh, we could start again

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I know that it's a wonderful world
I can't feel it right now
I got all the right clothes to wear
I just want to cry now, cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I know that it's a wonderful world
When you're with me



Mood: Yearning for Jah
 
 


 
  2006.09.28  00.05
you out of your mizind

The Roots
Clock W/ No Hands

[Black Thought]
Yeah, sitting in the staircase, holding back tears
Looking over mad years worth of photographs
Pictures of some places I ain't never going back
Some people I used to love, why I ain't show them that?
The skies was overcast, when I was sober last
My head is spinning, couldn't tell you if it's slow or fast
It's starting to get too clear, I got to go and grass
To y'all it's a shame but life is what we know it as
Waiting, navigating the plot, without plans
In the car, it's hard to read as a clock with no hands
How your man's goin' get up and stop with no yams
All it take is one break, it could pop the program
Whether sinning or not, my back bending like I'm sentenced a lot
I feel some brothers is beginning to plot
It might have been a close friend I forgot
Who started up and ain't remember to stop
I bet these niggaz going remember the shop

[Chorus - Mercedes Martinez]
People think that I'm crazy, just cause I wanna be alone
You can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze
We all deal with shit on our own
And sometimes the beef can grow, get out of hand
Yeah, you know it gets full blown
I never said that you mean the world to me
Maybe it's best that you never know

Yo, I'm like Malcolm out the window with the weapon out
Searching for somehow to find a minute or the second now
Precious time is money that I ain't got to mess about
Need it from the horse's mouth or from my eye with less account
Lessons with my back to the wall, scoping my session out
Stay a little edgy at times when I ain't stressing bout
Haters don't know shit about me, they the ones that talk shit
Those that love me send it out, so I ain't got to force quit
Cause I'm doing better now, don't mean I never lost shit
I was married to a state of mind and I divorced it, man
I'm from where brothers moving product from the porches
People locking their doors, clutching to their crosses
The block hot by the law, there ain't too many choices
So what I do is for y'all, there ain't too many voices left
I watch my back, and watch my step
And I might forgive, but I will not forget come on

[Chorus - Mercedes Martinez]
People think that I'm crazy, just cause I wanna be alone
You can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze
We all deal with shit on our own
And sometimes the beef can grow, get out of hand
Yeah, you know it gets full blown
I never said that you mean the world to me
Maybe it's best that you never know

Yo, living in turbulent times
The blind leading the blind
Some call it evolution, some say intelligent design
You say you want a revolution, you out of your mizind
Your sons' destitute, and their pops all in the prison
My man's back in the jam, he like the back of my hand
He just attracted to scam, he right back in the can
I never sleepwalking, you dig
You get your shuteye
I'm on the first thing in, I'm leaving on the red-eye
My brother back in rehab, just had another relapse
But fin himself, it's been like he's been fighting an energy
Half telling me nobody true when they pretend to be that
So closer than friends, that's where I keep my enemy at
To many parties concerned, it's time to live it and learn
Until we're able to grow, forever bridges we burn
My thoughts free as a bird, that's just about to emerge
And every action is heard, it speaks louder than words, yo

[Chorus - Mercedes Martinez]
People think that I'm crazy, just cause I wanna be alone
You can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze
We all deal with shit on our own
And sometimes the beef can grow, get out of hand
Yeah, you know it gets full blown
I never said that you mean the world to me
Maybe it's best that you never know

 
 


 
  2006.09.27  09.57
yo

I guess all I ever do lately is post lyrics on here, I wonder why that is, I mean I always thought this was one of my only honest spots, place where I could be open about stuff, yet I still hold back, seems like I struggle with myself everyday about how I'm feeling and whether it's even worth worrying people about how negative my thoughts can be at days since I'm sure I'll be ok overall, truth is I'm fucking scared, I don't know what life has in store for me, seems like I can't even bring myself to dream or have an opinion of what I should be doing with my life.... gotta get ready for school, I'll get back to this

 
 


[ << Previous 25 ]